A new decade: if you’re looking for a fresh start, this is exactly the right time.

We all enjoy spending a few days before the new year thinking about the goals we want to achieve, the things we want to do and see. It’s a precious moment of the year and setting your resolutions clearly is going to give you the chance to look yourself in the mirror in 12 months and be proud of how far you’ve come.

But before you start setting any unrealistic lists of “working out every day” and “reading a book a week”, find the time to give yourself a little pep-talk and try to get to know yourself better, and understand what you really want to achieve, instead of what you’re supposed to. Be realistic and gentle with yourself, don’t expect to change overnight, forgive yourself for any mistakes and keep trying. A few, simple goals to focus on and to always keep in mind is the first step to walking brightly into the new decade.

2020 should be the year for every woman to finally get things straight: girls, don’t let anybody hold you down or tell you what your’re worth or what your’re capable of. Keep your head up and be fierce, you deserve it. Remember that femininity can be combined with power, strength and success, so be you, whoever you are.

Whether you are married, divorced or happily single, dedicate this year to improving your relationship with those who surround you. Know your boundaries and be clear about them, so people know how to behave with you. This will help you avoid toxic people, and those who deserve your company will automatically stay and respect you. Often, we’re uncertain of what’s okay and what is not, therefore people around us take advantage of our confusion and mistreat us.

For people to respect you, in any case, you need to respect yourself first. You know when you love someone, and your mind keeps thinking of how many nice things you could do to make that person happy? Well, do it for yourself! Take yourself on dates, plan time to do what you love. This doesn’t mean only spa days and holidays, but also not missing your doctor’s appointments and checking on your diet and lifestyle.

Explore your motivation to be better: do you want to improve yourself to look better in other people’s eyes, or your own? Changing to impress someone else can give you some motivation, initially, but since change isn’t an easy task, doing it for someone else is just going to lead to a constant, frustrating need for approval.

It’s not going to be easy, and it shouldn’t be. Challenge yourself this year, push your limits and always move forward. This is not just the start of a new year, but it’s going to be your first step towards a better you.

Let this be your year, your decade, to become your best self.