#IBelieveThem

Trigger warning: this article discusses suicide.

Broadcast on 8th March, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex sat down with Oprah Winfrey for a 2 hour interview. The conversation was a peek into life behind the scenes for Harry and Meghan, and shed light on the reasons the couple decided to leave the UK and relocate to the USA last year.

I want to preface this post by clearly stating that I believe Harry and Meghan, and their assertion that life in the UK became unbearable for them for a number of reasons, which ultimately led to their decision.

There were several points I picked up on, which I thought were worth exploring further below:

The Family, the Firm and the Institution

Meghan was very clear in separating the royal family, i.e. the Queen’s relatives, from the wider Firm and Institution. Whilst some will say that the Firm and Institution are each slightly different things, in the context of the interview, Meghan used the terms interchangably to mean the wider establishment of the monarchy - i.e. the staff, the people who ensure the monarchy operates as a well run machine. This includes the advisors, the household staff, HR, Press/PR etc.

I felt Meghan was largely very complementary about the family, and specifically the Queen. She mentioned two incidents involving family members, one of which included her directly, and the second involved Harry who later relayed the events to her. At no point did Meghan come across as criticising the Queen, or even most of the family. The Institution on the other hand, was a different story.

Racism …

Meghan spoke openly about the racism she faced within the Institution. The interview didn’t particularly delve into racism by the tabloid press, other than comparing some articles written about Kate and others about Meghan, with very clear biases. I do think that there is extensive work to be done, to hold our tabloids to account and I would even suggest that it could make for a very interesting academic study.

…in the Family

A few things stood out to me clearly throughout the interview. The first is that Prince Harry said he had a conversation with a family member who wondered “how dark” their child’s (Archie’s) skin might be when he was born. The person is understood to have commented on what Archie’s skin colour “might look like” and “what this might mean.” Leaving aside the fact that Harry and Meghan are 75% Caucasian between the two of them, and therefore the chances of their children having a dark skin tone were slim to none to begin with, yet somehow this person felt that this was an appropriate comment to make to an expectant parent.

The point here (and why I consider this racist) is that it can almost be guaranteed, that the same person who made these comments would not have questioned “how White” Archie’s skin tone might be, had his mother mean 100% Caucasian. As one commentator put it, no-one was asking which shade of alabaster their child might be.

…in the Institution

The second point, which to my mind, can only be put down to racism, was the assertion by Meghan about the discussion to strip Archie of his “Prince” title. The discussion being had here was theoretical; Meghan even partly explained the George V convention laid out in the Letters Patent, which essentially states that grandchildren of the monarch will automatically gain the title of Prince or Princess, and the eldest male great-grandchild will also gain the title.

With respect to the children of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (Prince WIlliam and Kate), an exception was made in 2012 by Queen Elizabeth to ensure that all of the Cambridge children inherit the title of Prince/Princess, even though they are the monarch’s great-grandchildren, not her grandchildren, and ordinarily, only Prince George would have held this title, not his siblings.

Meghan appeared to be making two points about this. The first is that the Institution took a very different approach with Archie. Whilst it was understood that Archie would automatically take the title of Prince upon his grandfather ascending to the throne, the discussion in the Institution was that changes would be made to the Letters Patent to ensure that Archie never took the title of Prince, and therefore, according to current Institution procedures, would not be afforded security.

The question Meghan asked was ‘why?’ Why would an Institution as reluctant to change as the monarchy, suddenly decide, for no explicable reason, that Archie would be unilaterally stripped of a title that would otherwise be his birthright. In the absence of any other explanation came the conclusion, racism.

The second point (and I’m not sure if this was fully expressed, although it is what I gathered from the way Meghan stated it), was that, as an exception had been made for Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis to inherit their titles early (and therefore gain the protection of personal security), Meghan was told by the Institution that no similar exception would be made for Archie. The problem that Meghan understandably had with this, was not Archie’s inheritance of the Prince title itself, but that being given the title meant that Archie would gain the protection of personal security. In light of the very real threats (including death threats) made against Prince Harry and his family, it is entirely reasonable that Meghan would be concerned about Archie’s personal safety and security. Unfortunately, the response from the Institution appears to have been, “sorry, can’t help you.”

Lack of Support

Several points Meghan mentioned throughout the interview came across as a severe lack of support from the Institution. She suggested that there was a lack of willingness to ensure that she was given the tools and information to carry out the role she had taken on. Meghan specifically mentioned that as an American, she did not know the British national anthem (nor can I think she had any reason to), but no-one in the Institution seemed to recognise that she would be ‘missing’ significant parts of monarchical culture which would need to be addressed. She described having to do herself things that would otherwise be expected knowledge as part of her job.

The reason I find this interesting is that in the end, the job of a working royal is simply that, a job. And like any job, it is the employer’s role to ensure the employee has a smooth onboarding process, which involves giving them the tools, information, processes and procedures to carry out their role effectively. As Meghan described it, this simply did not happen. I felt that she came across as genuinely upset about having wanted to do a good job and being almost actively prevented from doing so.

The second point to mention here is regarding the story which most of the UK managed to hear about, courtesy of the tabloids, is that of Meghan apparently making Kate cry about something to do with the bridesmaids’ dresses ahead of her wedding to Prince Harry. It was revealed that it was in fact Kate, who made Meghan cry but Meghan also explained that this was graciously dealt with, with Kate apologising and Meghan forgiving her. Despite this, the Institution did not clarify anything with the tabloids who continued to accuse Meghan of extremely poor behaviour and of making Kate cry which was untrue. This is regardless of the fact that the Palace specifically went out of their way to deny Kate having botox treatments a few years ago. When Meghan questioned this, she was told “the Duchess [Kate] cannot be involved with idle gossip.”

Mental Health

The cumulative effect of the lack of support from the Institution, being the subject of persistent and pervasive racism (largely from the tabloids), as well as continuous false and degrading stories written about her, resulted in a significant deterioration in her mental health and Meghan says, left her feeling suicidal. When she tried to get help and approached the HR department, she was apparently told that as she wasn’t a paid member of staff, they wouldn’t be able to help her. Having heard this, I am in no doubt as to why the Palace insisted that a HR investigation involving alleged accusations of bullying by Meghan was suddenly being carried out shortly before this interview aired. (Incidentally if anyone could explain the discrepancy between Meghan being a working royal but not being a paid member of staff, I’d be grateful). For any organisation to have managed to have driven one of their own to wanting to commit suicide is abhorrent. I can only hope that Meghan is getting the help and support she needs in the US.

In conclusion…

It sounded to me that the main problem throughout this entire time and really, the focus of Meghan’s interview, was the Institution and departments running the Palace, rather than specific family issues. I feel that if the “work” situation had been handled appropriately, at the time, and the only real issues had been managing family relationships, Meghan would have been able to carry on. It’s useful to remember of course, that Meghan was essentially in a foreign country, away from her old sources of support including her mother and friends, taking on a colossal new role in full view of the media, not being provided the support she required, yet somehow expected to manage this without dropping anything. My sympathies lie entirely with Meghan and Harry and I hope they find what they are looking for.